I haven't been blogging much lately because I've been working really long hours while also parenting three sick kids and nursing my own cold. I'm barely one step ahead of work deadlines, way behind on laundry and sleep, and I have blurry memories of feeding my kids frozen waffles for dinner one night last week. There have been many moments in the past week when I have grumpily told my husband that I cannot --- cannot --- be expected to do everything I do, even one day more --- that something has to give. I know from past experience that when life gets this crazy, I feel guilty for not focusing exclusively on the children, and that the something that gives, other than laundry, is work --- an extra paper I hoped to publish, a research collaboration I hoped to pursue. And then, I feel guilty for not contributing to society at my fullest potential. My life as a working mom is a pendulum swinging between two guilt trips.
Tonight, I was in my study, focused on writing when my husband brought me the baby to nurse. I took a little break to feed her and catch up on my internet news. On the CNN homepage, I saw this headline: For Parents, Sacrifice Is Living the Dream. I clicked, and read Josh Levs' wise words. They resonated. And as cliche as it is, I saw all of my dreams in my sleepy baby's sweet smile. She was content; I was content.
This working mama is still tired, but happier to have a little perspective tonight.
I wish you all a good weekend filled with the things that matter.