My daughters' joint birthday party

So let’s start with the fun and frivolous part of my parenting: planning the girls’ birthday parties.  Two of my daughters share a birthday (same day, three years apart), and I take advantage of this economy of scale by hosting one big party for both. Because we host the party at our local children’s museum each year (lots of safe space for the kids to run around + someone else doing the clean-up = easy party on the parents), we are limited in our “theme” and space design options.  Without the ability to create elaborate spreads and backdrops, I instead try to choose a simple motif to carry through the party, from the invitations to the décor to the cake to the favors to the thank-you notes.  This year, the lovely work of Sarah + Abraham, which I discovered through Etsy, provided a starting point for inspiration.  They designed and produced these charming invitations which were printed on beautiful, thick paper:

After falling in love with the invitations, I decided to use silhouettes --- of both the girls and butterflies --- as recurring themes through the party:

We made the cupcakes ourselves, but dressed them up with Sarah + Abraham’s cupcake toppers:

Even the girls' dresses had butterflies:

I must admit I became obsessed with these personalized muslin favor bags: 

which we filled with museum passes and yummy madeleine tea cakes, in honor of our eldest daughter:

After the big museum party, where we hosted 40+ kids and their parents for pizza, fruit, and cupcakes, we celebrated with a family dinner, cake, and presents at home: 

These birthday angel figurines were given to me by my grandmother many years ago; I now "re-gift" them to my girls, for a bit of nostalgia:

Finally, in honor of our middle daughter, a sassy redhead, we drank:

I am grateful to the following vendors, most of which are mom-owned businesses (which I love supporting!), for their creativity, talent, and excellent customer service:

Invitations, cupcake toppers, favor stickers, and thank-you notes: Sarah + Abraham

Personalized muslin favor bags: Perideau Designs

Butterfly oreo pops: Sweeties by Kim

Pink cakes with girls’ silhouettes: Polkadots Cupcake Factory

Rose macarons: La Patisserie

Birthday girls’ dresses: Hopscotch Designs

Birthday Girl #2’s Headband: Lizzie, Izzie, and James

Petite fille onesie on baby sister: Chocolatine

Most importantly, the kids had fun; my sweet daughters were delighted by the “prettiness” of the festivities; and because of the party’s relative simplicity, I had time to celebrate and reflect on the joy my children bring me.  I even remembered to take some cake to my aforementioned next-door neighbor.  :) And now, I’m already thinking about next year!

(sharing with Design Dazzle and Celebrations at Home)

An Ode to Birthday Party Planning

One of my favorite duties as a mom is to plan parties for my kids and their friends.  I admit I expend a lot of time and energy planning and executing these events, whether small or large, and I enjoy the process, and the end result, immensely.

Recently, when I was obsessing a bit over a party décor detail, someone close to me commented that thinking about such things was frivolous and meaningless, especially given the current economic climate.  Her comment was intended to bite, and it did, but only for a moment, because I have a different view.  A child’s birthday party may indeed be frivolous, but taking the time to create beautiful experiences and environments for my kids is not meaningless.  Children, and the life, hope, and joy they represent, ought to be celebrated and honored at every opportunity, especially when the rest of the world is shaky and uncertain. Plus, I am a more balanced person because I take occasional breaks from the seriousness of my other work, from my responsibilities and concerns in the "real world," and think about the compatibility of shades of pink, and cake pop flavors, and tablescapes, and favor bags.   Certainly, anything can be taken over the top, but as a general rule, what’s wrong with a little frivolity?

Welcome to The Cul-de-Sac

I lived my early childhood in a cul-de-sac.  A stereotypically oak-tree lined street, with Midwestern split-level homes, lush green lawns, and mostly stay-at-home moms who greeted us at the school bus stop with hugs and snacks.

But the moms on my street didn’t spend all day cooking or tending to the house.  Truth be told, most of those snacks were thrown together from box mixes or convenience products, and most of the moms had cleaning ladies to do the heavy housework.  Instead, after seeing us off to school in the mornings and running errands and throwing some laundry in the wash, they would gather for coffee, and sometimes bridge, and they’d talk, connect.  Their conversations ranged from the frivolous to the sanity-saving.  For just an hour or two a day, they slowed down.

Their conversations continued in the cul-de-sac after dinner, and on weekends, while their kids rode bikes and played hide-and-seek.  After all, these were the 70s and 80s, the days of benign neglect when kids were sent outside to play for hours, without their parents helicoptering.   Only recently have I come to understand how valuable this “free” time must have been for the parents.

I don’t drink coffee.  And I’ve never learned to play bridge.  I’ve been too busy earning my law degree and multi-tasking a career with zealous wedding planning, then house hunting, then family planning, and now child-rearing.   Bridge with friends has never been at the top of my to-do list.  

I don’t live on a cul-de-sac now.  This, my first adult home, which I share with my husband and three adorable daughters, sits at the top of a very steep hill on a residential, but busy, street.  It’s a street with gorgeous vistas of rivers and trees that I usually remember to admire on my drives down the hill, but with no circular concrete gathering places to stop, chat, and really consider the view.

My street is a clichéd metaphor for my life, I suppose.  I enjoy a blessed life with rich opportunities.  I can see for miles, and the perspective is usually beautiful, often funny, and occasionally poignant.  But it’s a busy life, and I keep working and going and working and going, frenetic to the core. And now suddenly, in a fit of nostalgia rare to me, I miss the cul-de-sac.  I want to force myself to slow down.

All of this was brought to a head recently when my next-door neighbor, a charming person of exactly my age with common interests and abilities, a neighbor who brings by homemade treats on holidays and remembers my kids’ food likes and dislikes and keeps her yard immaculate --- in short, the perfect neighbor with whom I should be good friends  --- had her first baby ten weeks before her due date.  How did I find out about this incredibly scary, stressful, major event in her life? Facebook, of course, with more detail posted on her blog.  And since learning of this news, what have I done?  Well, of course I sent her an online gift certificate for a meal delivery service and then shopped online for a gift to be mailed to her house, all while e-mailing her messages of support and repeatedly “liking” her son’s pictures on Facebook.  In short, my sincere demonstrations of friendship have been solely virtual.  And she lives next door. 

The armchair sociologist in me finds this fascinating.  The mom in me finds this sad.  And so, I started this blog.  A reference to the cul-de-sac not in the pejorative “dead-end” sense, but instead as a community where neighbors congregate as their kids play after dinner.  Where they talk about their days, and their kids’ days, and their jobs, and their home décor, and their efforts to lose a few pounds.  Where they plan their kids’ birthday parties, debate the value of tee-ball, sigh about the prevalence of princess paraphernalia, and relate funny stories about their kids’ sayings and doings.  Where they share shopping tips and swap coupons and show off their new (comfortable!) shoes.  And where they muse about life’s little joys and ironies and remember why they chose the lives they did.  Talking.  Planning.  Debating.  Relating.  Sharing.  Musing.  Remembering.  Laughing.

This blog is thus directed at working moms, with “working” defined in the broadest sense.   At first, I’ll likely do most or all of the talking.  You’ll be the voyeuristic neighbor who eavesdrops.  But then, maybe, you’ll hear something that interests you, or that you can relate to a bit.  And then maybe you’ll make your presence known and join the conversation.  That’s my hope, at least.  That this blog can become our virtual cul-de-sac, a place where we can pull up our plastic lawnchairs, pour some good wine, and share laughs, inspiration, and empathy about our life’s work.  Will you join me?